Mikey Grows Up
by Inuyashagirl7692
Summary: Mikey is confronted by what appears to be his future self, and must face him alone. Afterwards, Mikey will learn what it's like to live in the world that his brothers do. A world where death is common and nothing is black and white.
1. Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Usually, Michelangelo fell asleep immediately after jumping into his bed bunk, but not tonight. Tonight he was restless. The air was damp, and uncomfortably warm, carrying a faint smell of the sewage that they had to live with. Not that it was anything new, but the air felt thick with a malevolent presence, and it weighed down on his chest, making it difficult for him to breath. Panic was rising in him like ice water, numbing his heightened senses to the point where he didn't even realize that an intruder had invaded their bedroom until Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello leapt to their feet. Michelangelo scrambled into a crouching position and whipped out his nun chucks. Simultaneously, the other three turtles had leapt from their beds, only to be frozen in mid-air. Phosphorescent blue light surrounded them. Their eyes moved wildly from Michelangelo to the intruder with the small white remote in his hand.

"_Damn, he took out all three of us at once. Mikey can't take this guy out alone."_ Raph thought.

"_Forget about us, Mikey! Just get out of here and get Master Splinter_," Leo pleaded, hoping Mikey would somehow catch the drift of his thoughts.

Mikey looked at Leo, and grinned, "You want me to abandon you guys, right Leo? Sorry, but that isn't the Turtle Titan's style."

Raph looked over at Leo and thought "_Come on, you have to admit that's pretty cool."_

Leo rolled his eyes and thought back _"It is NOT cool! Taking on this guy alone is stupid and reckless and… It's exactly what you would do." _Mikey launched himself from the bed, hoping to land behind the threat, and away from the remote, which would give him the advantage, but a searing pain through his chest disrupted his landing and he crashed into the wall. He was dizzy and disoriented, and his brothers seethed with rage. Just as MIkey was about to pass over whatever had entered their room, it had taken one of Leo's katanas and used it to slash Mikey from shoulder to his hip.

"Showing off and pretending to be a hero may work with your brothers," the figure flipped the turtle's light switch, illuminating the room, "but it won't work with me." Badly injured, but intent on knowing who his attacker was, Mikey focused his double vision and saw… a ninja turtle with an orange bandanna wrapped around his head. He looked like Michelangelo, or at least, what Michelangelo would look like if he had only one arm. His other arm had been severed at the elbow. There was no hint of a smile on his face, and his blue eyes were as hard and cold as ice. Donatello's eyes widened with shock and recognition. He knew this Michelangelo, but he'd thought that the future had changed since they had finally defeated the Shredder, once and for all, and it seemed that it had, but not for the better. At least, not for Michelangelo. The present Michelangelo was so stunned that, for the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say. "I'd say it's about time we got the show on the road. Wouldn't you agree, Mikey?" With that, the future Michelangelo left the room; Mikey's three brother's trailing after him like floating statues. Mikey used the wall for support as he struggled to stand up on his wobbly knees and stumbled after them. All pain and weariness was forgotten after Michelangelo took in what he saw in the dome, replaced by a pulsating rage, and his look alike, seeing his expression grinned mockingly. Mikey's family was arrayed in a wide circle around the future Michelangelo, each floating about 6 feet off the ground, stuck trying to reach an enemy that had already placed itself well out of their grasp. Leo's katana's, Raph's sais, and Donatello's staff, he had all their weapons on his person, but he wasn't wielding any of them.

"I have a few questions to ask you, and-"

"You always do," future Michelangelo interrupted, rolling his eyes.

Mikey gritted his teeth and said, "And then I'm going to kick your ass."

Raph would have strangled Mikey if he could move. "_What does that idiot think he's doing?" _

"Shoot."

"You're me from the future?"

"Bingo! 10 points to the half wit with the _smaller _orange bandanna for stating the obvious." Mikey was dying to start twirling his nunchuks and knock that superior smirk off his face, but… Something about what the doppelganger had said was nagging at him.

"You can say you're me until you're blue in the face, but I would never threaten my own family."

"No, you would just let them die." The intruder watched Mikey's composure fall apart with blatant satisfaction.

"You're lying!" Mikey charged at the intruder with his nunchucks spinning wildly, but he was just as fast if not faster than Mikey himself. He dodged Mikey's attacks effortlessly, all the while driving the knife deeper into Mikey's heart.

"You've known your whole life that you're just not cut out to be a ninja. You're not a leader like Leo, you're not smart like Donatello, and you don't enjoy fighting like Raph. You just love attention."

"I'm not listening to you."

"You're no better than a clown."

"Shut up!"

"You're a lazy, worthless ninja, and a useless younger brother!" Mickey staggered and the intruder took the chance to draw Donatello's staff and shove it into Mikey's chest wound, twisting it so that the pain ate at his consciousness, making it hard think and breathe let alone fight. "Pathetic," the intruder sneered as Mikey dropped to a knee, then he sent Mikey sprawling across the concrete floor with a solid round house kick to the head.

"_Damn, I can't let it end like this. I can't fail to protect my family when they need me the most" _Even though he was dizzy and weak, he managed to at least lift his head, "_Alright, that's a start. Now I just have to-," _at this point, the Mikey look alike stepped on his head and walked towards Raphie, a sai in one hand and a katana in the other.

"I can't let my family down. I have to protect them. That's what you're thinking right now, right? Maybe if you had taken Master Splinter's training seriously, instead of always goofing off like a knuckle head, then everyone wouldn't be dead in the future, and they wouldn't be in danger now." In a split second, Mikey saw his doppelganger pull back his arm and throw the sai straight towards the center of Raphie's forehead, but Mikey had already guessed what he was going to do, so he was ready. Mikey jumped up above Raphie's floating body, and his leg hit Raphie's head with a solid smack when he used the force of his kick to push Ralphie towards the ground, but the sai caught Mikey in the shoulder, and the force behind it pinned him to the wall. He wonder if he even had the strength to pull the sai out of his shoulder. Raphie's face had hit the concrete with a soft squish. "_He's probably pretty pissed at me," _Mickey figured. The thought of Raphie being pissed at getting his face smooshed into the concrete, even though his life was in his useless younger brother's hands, made him want to giggle, but instead of mirth, a mixture of blood and saliva bubbled out of his mouth. He could feel Master Splinter's, Leo's, and Donatello's eyes watching him with fear and helpless rage. "_Well, now they know what it feels like," _he thought with a hint of bitterness, as the impostor approached him with the katana, his face black with fury.

"Hey Raph," Mickey said, and he was sure the blood loss was making him loopy, because he tried to giggle again. Quick as a snake, the katana was pointed at his heart, and a slightly older, and colder version of his brother was standing before him.

"How did you know?"

"You used the same fighting strategy I used on Raphie at Battle Nexus. You antagonized me until I couldn't think straight and then you immobilized me when my guard was down. I have other strategies, so why would I choice the one I used on you in Battle truth is, I wouldn't, but you would because you knew I would recognize the strategy as mine. You thought that would make believe that you were telling the truth, but if you were really me, you would have used a strategy that only I knew about. You called yourself Ralph when you listed my brothers because you hate your nickname, and the only ones you have attacked so far are me and yourself, because you don't mind if you die. You blame yourself for every little thing that I do, which means you'd have no problem killing your younger self if everyone really did die because of me." He tried to manage an exhausted grin.

Raph smiled too and plunged the katana into Mikey's side. "I'm tired of cleaning up your messes, Mikey. It's time you grew up." He released the katana and took a step back. Then he pushed a button on his waste and 3 metal claws protruded from his black gloves. Mikey couldn't help but scream, despite most of his family watching him, when Raph raked the claws through his eyebrow and his eye until they stopped at halfway down his cheek. "I trusted you," Raph said, as he finished and strode over to his younger self, a sai in his hand. "So, of course, I'm partly to blame. Even though I knew you were incompetent, I trusted you with alerting Leo, Donatello, and Master Splinter about invasions while I was trying to bring down the Foot from the inside. I thought that even you could handle something as simple as that, but you proved me wrong. Where were you when they were under attack? Can you guess? No, of course you can't. You were already dead, Mikey! The foot nin caught you off guard, and because of that, everyone died."

"That can't be true." Mikey said under his breath.

"Maybe if I kill my younger self now," Raph said as he lifted up the frozen Raphie's head, and put the tip of the sai on the side of his neck," you'll become strong enough to do what I couldn't. Maybe you'll become strong enough to protect your remaining family, no matter what the cost. Maybe you won't hesitate to become a monster like I did, and then lose everything. At the very least, maybe you'll stop being such a burden to this family."

In response to Raph's words, Mikey brutally ripped the sai out of his shoulder, "Sorry, Raph, but no matter what the reason, there's no way in shell I'm gonna let you hurt my brother!" Mikey's forced grin turned into a grimace when he tried to pull the katana from his side, and after he finally got it out, he slumped to the ground in what appeared to be a dead faint, leaving a long trail of blood on the wall behind him. Having witnessed this, the future Ralph threw his head back and laughed, but his laugh rang hollow in the depths of the sewers, and even without the growing edge of hysteria in his voice, it would have sent chills down the spines of the bravest ninjas. It sounded like the laugh of someone who was in the midst of murdering their own soul. Only the chill of cold steel against his throat and neck brought him back to his senses.

"_A katana and a sai?" _Raph could see his reflection in Leo's katana. His hologram disguise had been disrupted by the blade, and his red bandanna and one eye were clear for everyone to see, but it was Mikey's reflection in the blade that briefly started him. His blue eyes blazed, and despite the tears streaming down his face, or maybe because of them, Raph knew that Mikey wasn't going to hesitate anymore. "Go ahead, kill me. If you don't, I'll just have to kill your brother-"Without thinking, Mikey plunged the sai into his throat, and slit through skin and jugular artery with the katana. Raph grinned at Mikey, and gurgled something that sounded like "I knew you had it in you," before he slid off the sai and fell to the floor with a thud. The present Raph watched Mikey's hands begin to tremble, until he could no longer hold the weapons, and they fell the ground with a clatter. His knees gave out, and he swayed forward, but Raph could move now, and he caught MIkey before he hit the ground. He embraced his little brother, trying to stem the flow of blood somehow, trying to keep Mikey from shattering into so many pieces that they'd never be able to put him back together again.

He had thought that he would never want Mikey to have to suffer through the same guilt of killing someone that he and Leo had to. He thought that he would always want Mickey to be a happy knuckle head, but that future him, if that was who he really was, had wanted to destroy Mikey. "_No matter what Mikey did or how much he screwed up, I could never do this to him… right?"_


	2. Moving On

In Mikey's dream, he was surrounded by floating pizza slices and comic books. He was right in the middle of reading his new favorite comic book "The Turtle Titan" when he heard screams. He looked up to see his family being attacked by the Shredder in the distance. He tried to get out of the chair and help them but the comic books and pizza slices suddenly started to pile on top of him and he couldn't move. The sound of metal slicing through flesh filled the air as Master Splinter was felled by the Shredder. His brothers all cried out "Master Splinter!" They fought with rage and sorrow, but eventually, they too were struck down, until all Mikey could see was the back of the Shredder standing over the bodies of his family. _I don't want to be alone._ The Shredder turned and began to approach him. Still, he couldn't move, couldn't even make a sound. _I don't want to die either. _Mikey struggled to get himself free, as the Shredder reached to take off his helmet, and revealed-

"Raph!" Mickey thrashed in his bed. Leo and Donatello could feel the heat from his fever radiating off him as they tried to keep him from reopening his wounds.

"Mikey, it's okay. It's us. Leo and Donny. You're safe now." Mikey opened his eyes to see Master Splinter, Leo, and Donatello looking at him with concern. Pain shot through his chest and shoulder when he tried to sit up, and his brothers hurried to lay him back down.

"Try that again and I'll knock you out, Mikey." A gruff voice threatened from the doorway.

"Hey Raph. How're you doing?"

"Who me? Last time I checked I wasn't the one in the bed."

"You been to the dojo lately?"

"Why you askin'?"

"No reason. I was just thinking that I would like to train in there after I heal up a bit more. It's been a while since I've taken training seriously… As in never." His whole family stared at him. "What?"

Donatello spoke up, "Mikey, you've been awake at least 30 seconds and you haven't told one joke."

"Wow, you are a genius." Donny looked hurt so Mickey said, "Sorry, that didn't come out right. I know you guys are worried but if you or Leo question me now, we'll just get in a fight, because I don't really want to talk about it." Raph punched the door.

"Well, you're gonna have to talk about this Mikey! You can't just ignore it and hope that it goes away, because it won't!"

"Talk about what? Huh, Raph? You want me to talk about how I killed you? How every time I see your face from now on I'm going to remember what I did and regret it? Or maybe you want to talk about how everything he said was true, because I REALY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!" Mikey coughed and wheezed like he had just run a mile.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU!"

"Raph, stop." Leo warned. Mikey looked up at Raph defiantly, and waited for him to finish.

"YOU THINK LOOKING AT YOUR FACE IS GOING TO BE EASY! I CLAWED YOUR EYE OUT, MIKEY! I ALMOST KILLED YOU! DO YOU THINK I'M EVER GOING TO FORGET THAT!"

"I don't. In fact, I know you won't, but if you think that you did this to me, you're wrong. You didn't do anything."

"I know. I didn't do _anything_." Raph turned and stalked out. Leo followed after him. Donny turned to Mikey and said,"By your own logic, you also aren't to blame here," before he ran after his brothers.

Only Master Splinter stayed. "Are you planning on leaving soon, Michelangelo?"

"Yes, Master Splinter."

"Because you want to get stronger?"

"Yes, Master Splinter."

"Because you want to protect us?" Mikey managed a chuckle.

"You guys don't need me around. You can take care of yourselves."

"You doubt your importance to this family, Michelangelo."

"What importance?" Michelangelo scoffed. "I'm dead weight."

"Perhaps, on your journey, you will see differently. " Mikey made a move to speak, but Master Splinter hushed him. "Right now, your soul is searching for the answers to your questions, but I cannot find those answers for you. You must go out into the world, and seek them on your own."

"Thank you, Master Splinter-"

"However, you cannot leave without first telling your brothers."

Master Splinter chuckled as he left, and Mikey scratched his head, "How am I supposed to get out of here if I do that."

…

"Raph, you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Did you hear what he said to me?"

"Yeah, Raph, I was there."

"No, you heard some of it. You heard the "It's not your fault" part, but you didn't hear the other half of that part. "It's my fault."

"He never said that."

"He didn't have to. I could see it in his eyes. He thinks it's his fault that our family dies in the future, and for all we know, that's a load of bull!"

Leo replied, "That turtle looked, sounded, and acted like you, and everyone knows that you would never lie about something like that. Mikey especially. He looks up to you. He practically idolizes you."

"Oh yeah, and where'd that get him. HE WAS ALMOST KILLED, LEO! And future me or not, I was the one that almost killed him." Leo put his hand on Ralph's shoulder, but he shrugged it off, and said, "I'm gonna go blow some steam in the dojo."

"Make sure you don't-" The dojo door slammed shut and glass broke, "break anything."

"Good to know I didn't miss anything." Donny piped in from behind him.

"Could you stop sneaking up on me?.. How long have you been behind me anyways?" Donny started to make his way to his computer.

"Who me? Why, I just got here."

….

It was a few days before Leo and Donatello even let him see his reflection. He was pale, but then so were his brothers. They had donated bags full of their blood to him in his first few days of his recovery, and Donny had told him that Leo had fainted twice. The blood bags still littered the floor of his room. Raph didn't come around much, although he still managed to donate more blood than anyone else, but Mikey had expected that. He'd rather have Raph mad at him than have him force a smile for his sake.

Mikey didn't find his new face very attractive. He had three puckered cuts running down his face, which made him look like he was grimacing even when he smiled. And as for his chest, well, he didn't really like to look at it. The only good thing about the scars was that they served as a constant reminder of his resolution to get stronger.

His brothers didn't carry their weapons when they were around him, and Mikey could guess why. If his nun chuks had been used to hurt any of his brothers, it would probably have been a while before he would have been able carry his them again, too. Their weapons were an extension of their soul, which were meant to be used to protect, but their weapons had been used on their younger brother, and they now carried a guilt that none of them were quite ready to face. _Why couldn't I protect him?_

About a week passed before they let him out of his room and onto the coach. Master Splinter was meditating. Donatello was working his computer help job, and Ralph and Leo were helping Casey with the motorcycles in the garage. "Is the computer plugged in? Why don't you plug it in, and then call me back if it still doesn't turn on. Okay. Good-bye… I'm gonna die young. These idiots are gonna kill me."

"Watch your blood pressure, Donatello."

"Shut up." MIkey chuckled and turned his attention back to the reflection in the black TV screen. _Who are you? _Mikey sat up and the turtle on the screen sat up too. _Guess that means it really is me. _He hadn't really wanted to accept it, but it wasn't like he could deny it. He felt the bandages on his skin, his vision had narrowed, and the smell of blood still lingered in his nostrils. It made him feel restless and alert all the time, something he had always pinned Ralph as. Mickey closed his eyes and he saw the the face of his brother, grinning mockingly at him even in death. The corpse had been given a proper burial. Donny and Leo ended up burying it themselves, since Ralph had been against burying it. He had wanted to dump it into the sewage and let it rot with the rest of the garbage. _Don't blame yourself I say. It wasn't your fault I say, and what does he do? He tries to feed the body to the rats. _Mikey rolled his eyes and got up off the couch.

"Donny, I'm going into the dojo to meditate. I'll be out for dinner."

"Yeah, sure- Wait, what?" Donny swiveled around so fast his head phones fell off his bald head.

"I'm going to go visit the foot nin. Maybe they'll make me their leader if I ask nicely." Donatello narrowed his eyes at Mikey's facetious tone.

"Don't even joke about that, Mikey." Mikey opened the door to the dojo and stepped inside. He hesistaed, and murmured under his breath, "It wasn't meant to be a joke"

….

It was peaceful inside the dojo. Even though the place was old, Mikey knew that it still smelled of wood, and, well, mostly Ralph's and Leo's sweat. Mikey had always been too busy playing video games and skate boarding to actually come in and train as seriously as they did. Donatello had his job, so he didn't come in and train as often as he used to. It was foolish. Not training when a whole organization of ninjas wanted your hides for turtle soup.

The weapons of his brothers still hung from their respective places on the wall. It was foolish. He had tried to cajole them into picking back up their weapons, but Master Splinter had said they would do it when they were ready. Yeah, sure, as long as they didn't die first. His gaze wandered from the weapon's wall over to Raph's punching bag. It was worn and torn as always, and Mikey decided to try his idea. Not meditating, so much as controlled venting. He strode over to the sagging punching bag, and tried to picture the Raph who had come from the future, and who had died by his hand.. It wasn't hard to picture him in general, Mikey had been doing that involuntarily since he woke up, but picturing him alive took a little more effort. Alive and sneering. "Hey Raph." The imaginary Raph didn't answer immediately, but Mikey didn't really expect him to speak at all.

"Hey bro." The tone was so condescending and wry that Mikey actually checked to make sure his living and breathing brother wasn't standing behind him.

"You're not real."

"Very good, Mikey, I'm not real. But enough about me, you look like crap." Mikey laughed, but it sounded hollow and sharp.

"I believe I have you to thank for that." The Raph Mikey had conjured sat down in front of the punching bag and made a big show of looking interested.

"Oooh, do tell." Mikey clenched his jaw. _This Raph is just as much of a jerk as the other… two._

He took a deep breath and prepared to say what he'd wanted to say to his brother, but hadn't gotten the chance to. "You were trying to save us. I get that now. You wouldn't blame me for dying on you, you're not that kind of guy. You're stupid, and self-righteous, and you always always try to carry everything on your own, but… You're also brave, and cool, and strong. You're my big brother. "

"I've always relied on you and Leo to take care of all the hard stuff. That's the only way I could pretend to be normal… sort of. I could skateboard and eat pizza like guys who aren't mutant freaks, but still be ninja enough to be a part of this family. Because being a ninja is the only way to be a part of this family, Raph. It's the only thing that holds us together. It's not fair, that I can't be normal. It's not fair, that Donny can't go to college and become a world renowned computer nerd. Life's not fair, but that doesn't give me the right to let my brothers bear all the pain and responsibility while I play video games. I probably wouldn't blame you if you really had come back from the future just to torture me, but you were just trying to change the future where we all died, even if you died instead, right? If we had been born humans, you and Leo would probably still be putting your lives on the line to save people, and I would probably have friends I could talk to and skateboard with. Who knows, maybe I would have made a better human than I have a ninja, but I'll never know. None of us will. Because we're not humans. We're freakin reptiles!"

"So what are you planning on doing now that you've given up?"

MIkey glared down at the figment of his imagination, "I may have given up on the future I hoped for, but if I stay here, the future you died to prevent may still happen, so I'm going to leave this place, and make sure as shell it never does." A loud crash distracted Mikey and the fake Raph disappeared. A very real and very angry Raph stood panting in the dojo, Casey was starting to look pretty mad too. Mikey looked down at Raph's feet and said dully, "Well, what a surprise. You broke down the door. Again."

"You-you-you-" Raph started.

"Me-me-me-"

"You're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry that you had to find this out through a door, but I am leaving, and Master Splinter already knows that."

"Master Splinter knows about this?" Leo asked, probably hurt that Master Splinter hadn't informed him that his youngest brother was planning on leaving.

"Yeah, and he said that I had to find my own path to follow… just like my brothers."

"I won't let you go." Raph growled.

"You can't make me stay."

"Wanna bet?" He replied menacingly. Casey intervened.

"Listen, Mikey, I gotta say I agree with Raph on this one. I don't think you're in your right head yet, and you can't make these kind of decisions when you're not in your right head."

"I haven't healed yet, so I don't think I can beat any of you if this comes to a fight, but if you guys don't step aside soon, I will fight you." A deep and husky voice cut the ensuing silence like a knife.

"Let him go, all of you." All heads turned to see Master Splinter. "As I have told him before, he has to find his own path, so that he may find peace again, and become a man."

"I can never become a man, master. I'm a turtle." Master Splinter smiled paternally at him.

"There is more to being a man, my son, than the form in which you were born." Mikey nodded and stepped forward. Leo, Donatello, and Casey all reluctantly stepped aside. Raph remained in the doorway, but Mikey stepped around him. He almost made it through the door when he felt a firm hand grab his arm.

"Don't go." Mikey tried to pull away, so Raph continued desperately, "Please don't go. If it's because of me, I'll leave and you'll never see me again. Just please don't-" Mikey grabbed Raph's hand, and gave it a warm squeeze.

"I'll not leaving forever, Ralphie. I'll see you again, and then I'll even let you punch me." He thought that over. "Maybe."

Raph's hand fell away, and he growled, "You'd better come back, Mikey. Cuz if you don't I'm coming after you." Mikey smiled, and he didn't look like he was in pain for once. Casey clapped hands with him and tried to wipe the "dirt" out of his eyes. Leo hugged him and told Mikey to take care of himself. Mikey stared at Donatello, unsure how to act.

Donatello fidgeted a little and said, "What am I supposed to do with you gone? Whose going to make sure Raph and Leo don't kill each other?" Mikey shrugged.

"You, I guess."

"Whose going to make sure _I_ don't kill _them_?" They busted up laughing. Leo and Raph fought grins. "But seriously, Mikey, make sure you come back, okay?"

"You know I don't do serious, but I'll come back." They embraced and Donny worked hard to banish the thought that this might be the last time he ever hugged his little brother. Finally, Mikey embraced Master Splinter. "Goodbye, Master Splinter." Mikey choked out.

"I believe the phrase is 'See you later'… Be safe, my son." Salty tears were still trailed through Master Splinter's fur as he watched his youngest son disappear as he walked into the darkness of the tunnels. Leo made as if to go after him, but Master Splinter stopped him with a gesture. "You must let him go."

…..

No one said anything for a while until Casey announced that April wanted him home for dinner. After Casey left, Master Splinter said, "My sons, you must pick up your arms once more, and train on the rooftops tonight." Raph glanced uneasily at his shinai, just as his brothers did the same with their respective weapons. "But Master Splinter, if we pick up our weapons right after Mikey leaves, it'll seem like we only stopped using them because of him."

Master Splinter raised an inquiring eyebrow, "Is that not the case?"

"No, it is." Donatello conceded.

"Michelangelo knew that as well. But my sons, you do not have the luxury of putting down your weapons whenever you choose. Enemies will still come, as they always have, to destroy you, and you must _always_ be ready to face them."

…...

That night, the three brothers trained on the rooftops just as their master had told them too, but their once familiar weapons now felt like snakes in their hands. Despite this, Raph fought ferociously. His anger and frustration made him reckless, and Leo found himself fighting to keep both of them safe.

"Raph, cut it out. We're all upset, but throwing a temper tantrum won't bring Mikey back!"

"SHUT UP! Don't talk about him!" Their weapons clashed and scraped, until the brothers jumped back and tried using the surrounding walls for speed. Raph pushed off from the side of the building and Leo pushed off from the top of the wall. They were about to clash in midair, when Donatello stepped in and knocked the wind out of both of them with his staff.

"Get up, we've got company."

"Donny! You-" Raph looked around to see that they had suddenly been surrounded by foot nin. "You really should have said something sooner."

Donatello shrugged, "I tried. You two were too busy to listen." Leo and Raph stood beside Donatello and entered their fighting stances.

"A little foot nin whooping is just what I need right now."

Leo grinned at his brother, and the guilt that had been weighing him down momentarily lifted, "For once, I think I actually agree with you."

"Don't be so sure." Three heads went up to see a female ninja on a hover board. "I've trained these ninjas specifically to defeat you after all, and if that fails…" She lifted up a small white remote they had all seen before.

Leo shouted, " Li, how did you get that remote?" A look of mild confusion flitted through her features.

"Well, obviously my scientists made it."

Raph snorted, "Yeah, obviously."

"ATTACK!"


	3. Changes

Mikey had been patrolling the alley ways of New York for a few hours. He had stopped a few muggings, and all the men and women he had saved had run away from him screaming. _This must be what it feels like to be Raph. _His face felt naked with his bandanna on his arm, but it felt nice too. His wounds burned but the cool night air made them a little more bearable. "Maybe if I cut some eye holes in a garbage bag and then put that garbage bag on my head, the people wouldn't be so terrified of me." He tried that for his next attempted mugging, and not only did his mugee pass out, but the muggers all ran away. Mikey, exasperated, tore the bag off his head, and made sure that the old man had just fainted. The old man's eyes fluttered, locked on Mikey's face, and then he was back out like a light. The young turtle sighed. "You have got to kidding me." A passing policeman had heard the yelling and ran into the alleyway, but all he found was an unconscious old man, and a garbage bag with two holes in it.

Mikey sat dejectedly on a rooftop a few blocks away. "Looks like Turtle titan is retired after all. Maybe I should just change my name to Scarface… but I think that's taken." A muffled scream brought him back to his senses, and he jumped to his feet. He was running, flying, adrenaline pumped through his veins, because he had heard more than just a muffled scream. He had heard the sound of metal slicing through skin, and then… a desperate gargling. He knew he had found the right alleyway when he smelled the blood. Hidden in the shadows, he saw a young girl lying on the ground, and the glow of a cigarette as the man who had did this to her dropped the knife and walked into the crowd. Mikey leapt down and tried to stem the blood that gushed from a gash in her throat. Her white dress was torn and dirty; her eyes stared up at him as he tried to save her. They were wide and terrified. "Help! Someone help! This girl is dying!" A middle aged women ran into the alleyway, and Mikey sunk into the shadows. "George! George, get in here. Call 911. A little girl is dying!" A man about her age, presumably her husband, ran in and pulled out his cell phone. The young girl, Mikey figured she must have been around thirteen, tilted her head. Her eyes searched for him, and when she found him, she smiled. Her knotted blond hair glowing like a halo around her head, she mouthed, "Thank you." And then her light went out.

Mikey checked out for a little while, and whenever he checked back in, he would find that his body was making its way back towards his home. Then he would see the blood, and he would remember the man with the cigarette, and he would drift away again. On instinct, his body stopped a few rooftops away from his brothers and hid in the safety of the shadows. The shouts of his brothers and the clang of metal on metal dragged his soul back from the oblivion. They were fighting foot nin, and they were badly outnumbered. Mikey almost jumped right in, but then he saw Li, and the remote she had, and he realized that as long as she had that remote, there was no winning the fight. She was playing with them, like a cat with mice. _Why can't Leo fall for a girl who doesn't want to kill him?_ He watched restlessly as his brothers tried to fight their way through the foot nin, until they began to slow, and the foot nin captured them with ease, kunai at their throats. Li lowered her hover board. To gloat. As usual. _Looks like its my turn._

"I never expected you to be defeated so easily. I don't suppose your quick defeat has anything to do with your missing brother?"

"Bite me." Raph grumbled.

"I never would have guessed that a clown-"

"Hey, only we can call him that!" Donatello interrupted.

"- would prove to be a necessary member of a team of ninjas."

"And I'm being ignored."

"I have always felt that little fool held you back, Leo." All three turtles glared murder at her.

"You-"

"Did somebody call for a fool?" Mikey leapt onto the rooftop, and even Li was surprised. His hands and face were covered with blood, his bandages were dirty, and his bandanna strips were so stained with blood, they were almost black.

"Mikey!"

"Hey Donny, Leo, Raph, it's good to see you guys are getting well without me."

"What happened to you?" Leo gasped. The foot nin guarding him had pressed his kunai deeper into his skin.

Mikey's eyes seemed to lose focus as he said, "Don't worry, it's not my blood."

"Michelangelo!" Li shouted. "Why did you come here, do you actually believe you can rescue your brothers?"

"No. I don't have the slightest hope of rescuing them, which is why I came to make a deal with you."

"Oh?"

"Release them. Swear to me you'll never harm my family, and in exchange, I'll swear my loyalty to you." Li was taken aback by his bold statement.

"And why would I agree to something like that?"

"Because one living mutant turtle on your side is more profitable to you than four dead ones." Li smiled.

"It seems I've underestimated you, Michelangelo." Raph and Donny struggled against their captors.

"Come on, Mikey, this isn't you. You don't have to do this!"

"Mikey! You've got a plan, right? You'd never-" Li pressed a button on the remote and all three of them froze in white light. A quick glance told Mikey that Leo had been just about ready to throw his captor over his head. Both of his hands were clamped on his captor's forearms, a look of fierce concentration on his face. Probably planning his next two or three moves.

Michelangelo turned to Li, "You've got their DNA in that remote, don't you?"

"Very good, Michelangelo. I have yours as well, so don't even think about trying to double cross me."

"Are you questioning my word as a ninja?" Li fixed him a bemused smirk.

"Drop your weapon, Michelangelo." He unfastened his nun chuks and dropped them to the ground. "Kneel." She placed her katanna on his shoulder and paused. "It's strange. I always felt that Leo would be the one to join me." Michelangelo's slight smirk did not go unnoticed by his brothers. "Why do you wish to be a foot nin?"

"I wish to change my fate."

"An impressive wish to be sure. Do you swear to follow our laws and my orders unconditionally?"

"As long as your orders do not breach our agreement, I will follow them."

"Will you protect me and your fellow brethren with your life?"

"Yes."

"Then stand, brother Michelangelo." He stood up, wobbled slightly, but then regained his balance. "As par our agreement, your family will not be harmed. I will release them once we are safely back at headquarters." Her gaze softened, and she said, "Since you are one of us now, I will expect you to tell me what happened to you once we return." She boarded her hover board and flew off, her ninjas trailing her. Michelangelo looked down at his abandoned nun chuks and than at his blood soaked hands. With one last glance at his brothers, he growled, "Damn it all." And then leapt after his new master. He didn't look back.

…

Three white pods stretched from floor to ceiling in the experimentation room of the Foot. Li stood with her lead scientist behind the control panel. "Is he ready, yet?"

"Wait for it… Yes!" The scientist pressed a button and one of the pods began to open. From within the billowing clouds of gas, a large turtle shell fell out. Li ran forward, and lifted up the shell. Underneath it, a young man lay panting on the ground. He looked up at her defiantly with startling blue eyes, fiery red hair, and harsh scars on his face and chest. She smiled, and said, "Hello… brother."

END

*It's going to be a long time before I update. I've got college and moving to worry about this summer*


	4. Micheal

_When I was young, I loved the sound of rain in the sewers_

…

_When I was young, I loved the sound of rain _

…

_When I was young…_

…

"So I'm the- last guy- you have to- beat before- Li talks to- you, right?" Zack, Li's second in command, was forced to punctuate his sentences a little strangely since he had to dodge one of Micheal's attacks every two seconds. Micheal had joined the foot nin three weeks ago, and Li had been forcing him to defeat her ninjas in sparring matches ever since. Needless to say, he wasn't very popular among Li's subordinates. Zack was sure Li had meant to isolate the kid from the beginning. She'd done the same thing to him after he'd first joined. Li had told them that Micheal was the Shredder's long lost adopted son. No believed it.

"That's right." The red haired teen nearly landed a flying kick.

"Sucks to be you."

"You seem cocky."

"I am cocky." He backtracked a few more steps but Micheal quickly overtook him.

"You've been running away from me ever since this spar started."

"You can't beat me if you can't catch me."

"But I can catch you."

"And that's why I'm dodging." The crowd cheered as he evaded another attack. "Looks like the crowd loves me." Micheal rolled his eyes. "Why don't we call this a tie? I mean, it's not like Li's going to tell you the truth about your past." His opponent stopped mid-punch.

"How did you know about that?"

"She doesn't have a brother. Never has. Never will. So, I figure, you're either in cahoots with her or she's playing you. And based on what you say in your sleep-" Two shinai pinned him to a column with enough force to pierce concrete, and he quickly realized he'd gone too far. The kid's eyes were wild with anger and fear. Li deemed it a good time to grace them with the sound of her voice.

"You used your weapons brother. The deal's off. Zack. You are now my brother's partner, so I suggest you two get to know each other." If looks could kill a pair of blue eyes would be beating him to death. _That went well. _Micheal regained his composure and turned to leave.

"Wait! You can't just leave me here!" "

"Get yourself out."

" But I'll rip my sleeves. These uniforms aren't exactly cheap."

"I'm sure you can just steal the money to replace it later." Zack allowed himself a slight grin. It seemed the kid wasn't just a puppet after all.

…

That night, Micheal slept a full fifteen feet away from the other foot nin, just as he always did. It gave him more time to listen for the sound of stealthy feet, the rustle of cloth, the unsheathing of a weapon, or just the shallow breathing of a possible attacker. Tatsumi had almost succeeded in surprising him the other night, but his strong killing intent had given him away. His broken throwing arm should have served as an example to the other men, but Li had healed him. It was the same as giving to other men permission to try to kill him. Stiil, broken bones hurt.

He had always been able to catch the men who had tried to kill him in his sleep, so how had Zack been able to get close enough to hear him talk in his sleep? His only memory of his past wasn't one he wanted shared with others. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the cold hard floor so he could visualize the girl in his dreams. Then he opened them to see Zack doing a hand stand a few inches from his face. With blond hair and blue eyes, he bore a startling resemblance to the girl in his dreams. "What the shell?" He scrambled backwards. Zack returned to his upright position, but his eyes glittered with what looked like a mix of amusement and triumph.

"What the shell? You mean what the hell, right?"

Micheal straightened up, "Just keeping it kid friendly. Now what the hell were you doing in my personal space?" Zack tilted his head and seemed to ponder that.

"We're supposed to get close to our partners."

"That's not what I-" Micheal forced himself to calm down. The guy was obviously baiting him. "Whatever angle you're playing, I'm not interested."

Zack sobered and sat down, facing his partner. The atmosphere seemed suddenly heavier. "You're right. I'm not talking to you out of the goodness of my heart. I want to know more about the girl you dream about, but first, I'll give you some information in exchange." He could see he had his partner's attention.

"I joined the foot nin three years ago. I had barely turned eighteen, but I hated my home life. So I left my ten year old sister with our parents and came here. Since then, I've seen every kind of freaky, and at least 80% of that is manufactured by Li and her scientists. She takes prisoners and volunteers alike to be experimented on and tested. She's trying to make supersoldiers. Dude goes in a ninja, comes out a rhino."

"And you think I'm the result of one of her experiments?"

"I don't know. All I know is every new recruit has to go through what you did these last few weeks, but most of them barely last a day. And only one other recruit has managed to never lose."

"Do you know him?"

"I should. That recruit was me."

"Did Li do something to you?"

"Enhanced reflexes and other perks make fighting a lot more fun, but I try not to broadcast it."

"I appreciate what you've told me, but I can't tell myself that everything Li has told me is a lie. At least not yet." Suddenly, Zack's partner looked young and vulnerable. He made sure to speak gentely.

"Why not?"

"I have nothing else to believe in."

"You could believe in me." Miicheal laughed quietly.

"Thanks, but I don't trust you yet. Now, you wanted to know about the girl right?" Zack nodded and rustled his hair absently. His face and gestures betrayed how eager he was. Micheal breathed deep.

"She's thirteen. Maybe fourteen. She has long blond hair and blue eyes. She's wearing a white dress but it's torn and dirty. Her throat's slit… She's smiling." That last part threw Zack off guard for a second, but when he was sure Micheal wasn't watching he looked at him with gratitude.

"Is there anything else? Anything that could tell me who killed her?"

"The man I saw leaving the alleyway left a cigarette bud near her. He was tall with broad shoulders, a tan long coat, and a brown wide brimmed hat."

"You saw him for a second and you remember all that?"

"I see him every night… Do you think the cops have found him?"

"They can't find every sick bastard."

"Was she your sister?" Zack tensed and glanced at him with an air of indecisiveness. Like he was wondering whether he could trust him or not, but then his shoulders fell and he gave a sad smile.

"Yeah. She was… My parents had told me that she'd snuck out to go to a club. I was looking for her on the night she was murdered, but it hadn't been enough. "

"And you want revenge."

"Not just on the guy who murdered my sister. I want to show every guy in this town who ever thought of hurting a kid what hell is."

"It'd be nice if you had someone who was close to Li on your side. Maybe convince her that a vigilante group of hundreds of ninjas would be more profitable in the long run than a petty gang of ninjas."

"That's the basic idea." Micheal grinned.

"I like it. And I'll help you try to convince Li, but promise me you're not going to listen to me sleep anymore."

"Alright, alright, but could you not say it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm stalking you or something… it makes me sound creepy."

"… Listening to someone talking in their sleep is creepy."

"Well, yes, but no. Wait- I'm all messed up." He stopped and realized Micheal had an almost impish grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

"Yes, I am." Zack fought to keep his tone completely serious.

"I didn't know you could do that."

"I like to think I'm full of surprises."

Zack got up with "Well, it's been something, but I have to get my beauty rest." and wiped himself off. There was a large tear in each of his sleeves.

He went to walk away but Micheal said, "Wait." He stopped but he didn't turn back.

"Li said you're my partner. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means I have to look out for you." He scratched his head with a touch of frustration. "Actually, that didn't work out so hot the last time I said it, so how about we look after each other. I got your back. You got mine."

" I'll help you find who killed your sister and get Li on your side, and you'll help me protect her." The blond haired ninja turned on his heel and laid down beside Micheal. "What are you doing?"

"If you're going to help me find the guy who killed my sister, than I can't risk someone offing you in your sleep. I'll watch your back tonight."

"Creepy."

Zack snorted. "Shut up and get to sleep." Micheal suppressed a smile and went to sleep. And for once, he didn't mind the dream that was coming. Maybe he couldn't save the girl, but surely, if he helped her brother find her killer… It occurred to him then why Li had allowed him to remember the girl. Why she had partnered him with the girl's brother. _I can't leave now._

…..

All of Li's foot nin were in position when they felt the ground begin to quake beneath their feet. Li's body guard, Micheal, stood beside her as he had been ordered to , but he still heard Zack mutter from across the platform "Great. They're gonna destroy another perfectly good base." Li shot him a glare, he returned a slight shrug that said "I'm just saying" and Micheal struggled to keep his face straight. The tremors increased. Zack nonchalantly hummed something that sounded suspiciously like a wedding march. It was probably supposed to be a funeral march..probably. Kunai and shruiken were drawn with the knowledge that they would be useless against what was coming. Just before all hell broke loose, Li leaned over and whispered to him, "Kill them."

Flame and door fragments went spinning everywhere. The drapes quickly caught on fire and sent some of the ninja scrambling for safer ground. Several men were injured before the smoke cleared enough for them to see the hulking green tank with guns coming out of all of its sides. They sparked intimidatingly. A megaphone came out of its top but a kunai hit it and it blew up. A second, smaller one came out. "What the shell was that for? We haven't even said anything yet."

" Someone shouted, "You broke down our door you freaks."

An angry sounding voice retorted, "At least we don't go parading around town wearing matching pajamas." _He has a point._

"At least we wear clothes."

Micheal turned to Zack and noticed he was missing a kunai. He grinned, "I hate suspense." Li waved for them to get down there and start with the protecting. They leapt down to meet the turtles as they jumped out of the tank, just as other ninja began to converge on them. Fighting the smoke didn't burn his unbandaged eye as he tried to push through his comrades to get to the turtle with the red bandanna. He was fighting ferociously. The turtle's anger burned hot and it made him reckless. Micheal knew he could take his brute strength, but the other ninja were being tossed around. The turtle didn't seem at all interested in them. He never took his eyes off of Li.

A roar seemed to erupt from his very core, "LI! WHERE'S MIKEY? ! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" The turtle who fought with katanas looked at Li coldly.

"I pitied you for a long time, Li. I told myself that we were just two sides of the same coin, but the Shredder is dead. He's not controlling you anymore. You chose to fight for your own gain. You chose to take my brother. And if you don't tell me where Mikey is, I will choose to strike you down. And I may just choose to enjoy it. " He spoke as he was talking over dinner as opposed to fighting various enemies. Then again, as the smoke and fire increased, their enemies decreased. Li gave the signal and a giant turtle shell fell from the rafters and clattered to the ground.

"Your brother is dead." She paused than added. "The soup was to die for."

"YOU LYING BITCH!" The turtle with shinai had opened his mouth, but it had been the turtle with the katana that had roared. The one who fought with the staff seemed slower to his eyes. They were fighting as much on the inside as they were on the outside. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zack engage the katana wielding turtle and then turned his attention back to his opponent. He intercepted his shinai with his own just as he was about to reach the base of Li's platform. They grinded and screamed, but Micheal got a good look at his adversarie's eyes before they broke a part. Rage. Fear. Disbelief. _Doubt? _Had he recognized him? He tried to blend in with the smoke. It should have given him an advantage but he hadn't counted on the turtles being able to endure the smoke too. A flash of silver alerted him to his mistake and he moved quickly to make up for it, but not before his bandage fell to ribbons, and the turtle got a good look at his hair and his damaged eye. The shock that registered on his face stung him for a reason he couldn't think of, but it didn't matter because he, or it, was vulnerable. Micheal got down and kicked out the turtle's knees. One of its companion's called out his name, "Raph!" but by the time they got close it would be too late. A ringing sound resonated in Micheal's ears as he jumped on the turtles back and crossed his shinai around his throat. It was fine. He didn't know this turtle. And he had his orders…

"Are you going to kill me again… Mikey?" The words came out soft. So soft, normal ears wouldn't have heard it over the sound of the flames and the battle, but Micheal's did. And they entered his brain like knifes. Images and feelings flashed through his mind accompanied by a dehabilitating pain. His brothers. His master. His brother. The brother who had betrayed him. The brother he had killed. He looked up to see a familiar face looking down at him.

"Raph."

"Hey buddy. Good to know you know me. You look different."

"I think it's the hair." Micheal remarked dryly. He turned to Li, "You promised me you wouldn't hurt them."

"And I haven't. Nor have my men. If you cause any injury to them, though, it's none of my concern." He could feel himself seething with the desire to strangle the person he had sworn to protect. She got up from her throne and jumped from platform to platform to escape through an emergency window. "Gather the wounded, men. We're leaving. Tatsumi. You can take care of him." Panic flooded through Micheal for an instant. His red hair and general lack of an upper mask made him an easy target. His enemy on the other hand looked exactly like every other minion Li had sent to keep the turtles – no, his brothers- at bay. Zack's voice shouted " Micheal, behind you!" An instant later, he felt blood hit his upper torso…

But the blood wasn't his. Amongst the flames, his brother had shielded him, and a poisoned kunai now protruded from his shoulder. Micheal took his shinai and stabbed Tatsumi from under his brother's arms. The ninja fell into the flames and didn't get up.

"Leo! Donny! Raph's been poisoned. He needs to get out of here. Help him!"

"Micheal has turned traitor. Kill him." He fought through the flames to get Raph to one of his other brothers, and they fought to get to him. Micheal had barely gotten Raph to leo when flaming support beams started crashing down between. Leo and Donny made it closer to the door. Micheal had jumped in the direction that left him surrounded by both enemy ninjas and fire.

"MIKEY!" His brothers called out to him, and Micheal saw Raph struggle to get away from leo's grip. Reaching out to him even as the door began to collapse.

"I'll be okay. Get him out of here Leo!" Raph broke free of Leo's hold and ran desperately towards him.

"Raph! Wait-" _Goodbye._

"Well, this isn't good." Micheal turned, and was more than a little surprised to see Zack at his side. "I think I liked it more when I was on the side with the numbers."

"You wanna switch?" The blonded haired ninja swung his nun chuks menacingly.

"Naa. Hey, I bet I can take out more ninjas than you." Micheal felt himself grin.

"You're on." Finally, he could fight without holding back. The heat and the stink of burning flesh swirled around him as he took out everything he'd been bottling up on everything and everyone around him. The shinai flashed like lighting and the nunchuks connected with a resounding crack. Apart they had been monsters. Together, they wielded the wrath of a storm.


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

A few weeks past and the teenage mutant turtles hadn't heard anything from either their brother or the foot nin. Life almost went back to normal except now when the turtles, they went looking for their brother too. After the foot nin's base had burned down the police had found some very interesting and very illegal equipment when they had searched through the rubble to find the bodies. But all Master Splinter, his boys, and their friends had cared about was the part of the report that said evidence had been found that indicated two people had hidden under a very large turtle shell when the building had collapsed.

The police started finding criminals beat up and tied up. Attempted rape victims claimed they were saved by two boys, both in their late teens, with blond and red hair. Later, murders and rapes were being stopped on a grander scale by ninjas with the Foot nin insignia on their backs. Criminals began to fear walking the streets at night. The turtles tried interrogating the ninja's for their brother's whereabouts, but they refused to tell them where he was, and said only "He doesn't want to be found."

The day came when a boy with blond haired boy with a smug expression on his face brought in a large man and disappeared mysteriously before he could be questioned. Turned out he matched the DNA found at the crime scene of a murder/rape victim that took place a few months before. That night, Raph found a letter in the alleyway where a little girl had been murdered.

_Hey guys,_

_I know you're still looking for me. The ninja in my squad won't stop complaining about harassment. I wanted to tell you that I'm fine. My life isn't normal. It's better and more exciting than that. I have a friend here who has my back, and once this whole "Save the day" thing becomes a permanent Foot nin night job, we may even retire. Until then, maybe we'll see you around somewhere. Master Splinter, thank you for raising me. And guys, thank you for being my brothers. I couldn't have wished for better._

_Stay alive,_

_Michelangelo_

_PS: Seriously, though, stop scaring my guys. _

Zack observed his friend closely as they watched his brother read the note. "Is it okay not to tell them?" He barely breathed the words but he knew Micheal would hear them.

"Tell them what?"

"How about that you can't remember your childhood? Or the names of your friends?"

"Why on earth would I tell them that?"

"… Because they're your family... No matter how weird that is."

"And that's why I don't want to hurt them. It'll come back to me eventually. Until then, I'll keep doing what feels right, and what we're doing now, it feels right." Zack shrugged.

"Kind of hard to argue with that." They leaped across the chasm and landed on the other side, just as the sun began to rise.

"Hey, Zack, what do you want for dinner today?"

He groaned,"Anything but pizza."

Micheal laughed and said, "Pizza it is, then."


	6. Midquel

"It's been 3 months already! Why isn't Mikey here?!" It wasn't the first time Rapheal had voiced that particular question. Or the second. Or the third. In fact, pacing, complaining, and searching for his rogue younger brother seemed to be all he'd been doing since the Foot nin's base had been blown to smithereens.

Master Splinter groaned a little as he set to massaging away his headache, and Donatello ignored him, which left only Leo to say, not without a touch of exasperation, "Raph, Mikey is fine. You read the same report we did. He's alive."

"If he's fine, why isn't he here? You're our leader! Shouldn't you be looking for him?"

Leo's hand hit the table with enough force to rattle every remote, game controller, and drink on it, "What the shell do you think I've been doing every night, Raph?! I've been looking for him, and even though it's only been three months it's like I'm starting to forget what it was like when I didn't have to search for him, when he was here and I took him for granted. Little things are starting to slip, Raph, and it scares the shell out of me. How much longer before I start to forget important things like the sound of his laugh or the way he smiled? He's my brother too, Raph. Don't you dare forget it!" Leo slumped back into the couch and resumed his relaxing activity of staring blanking at the powered down TV. In a short time, he'd go on patrol, and search for his youngest brother again.

Mikey had brought something to the group that wasn't anger, fear, or arrogance. He'd brought fun and hope to their damp home. Living without him was like living in a never-ending tunnel, and it was all his fault. Leo was the leader. He was the one his brothers looked to when they needed guidance, but he hadn't been there for Mikey. He hadn't been strong enough. If he couldn't even protect his youngest brother, what right did he have to call himself a leader?

Raph observed Leo's listless state with disgust.

Over at his work station, Donatello was working on a new invention with an oddly specific name: Instant Sedation for Mutant Turtles (or Humans) With Red or Orange Bandannas.

…..

Zack and Michael were chatting amiably on a rooftop when three foot nin came to report a tall man in a trench coat stalking a young girl who seemed to have strayed from her parents. And just like that, Zack's countenance changed from that of a teenager to that of a predator. Michael listened as his friend grilled the three about the height of the man and the appearance of the girl, ready to leave in a moment's notice.

Once Zack was satisfied he had his man this time, they leapt from the rooftop and began heading in the direction the three nin were leading them. Out of the corner of his eye, Michael could see his friend grinning like a demon under the pale light of the moon. The light gleaming in his eyes told of nothing but bloodlust. Alarm bells went off in Michael's head at the sight. He tried to quell them but they only grew louder as they began to near their destination.

The three nin stopped at the very edge of a brick building; Michael could already hear the girl's frighten cries, but Zack beat him into the alley. Michael dove in after him. A tingling pain shot up his legs when he hit the concrete ground, but he didn't have time to think about it. A young girl, about the age of Zack's sister, lay sprawled across the ground before his feet, her blue eyes wide with fear. For an instant, Michael wondered if it wasn't the same girl, her hair was blond too, but no, that didn't mean it was the same girl. It just meant some creep had a type. He spared a glance for his friend and saw that he was holding a kunai to Mr. Trenchcoat's throat, but he wasn't interrogating him yet. Probably still waiting for Michael to finish with the girl.

Michael sighed. He didn't think children were very fond of him, but he tried to approach her anyway, "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to make sure that man over there," he gestured at Zack's catch, "didn't hurt you." As he approached the girl, he noticed something that differentiated her from Zack's calm little sister. The acrid smell of urine. Urgh.

Fighting the urge to cover his nose, he insisted again that he wasn't going to hurt her. She didn't respond, but she didn't push him away either. As far as he could tell, the girl had suffered nothing but a few scrapes and brushes.

"How is she?" Zack called, his voice rough.

Michael offered the girl a smile. His scars must have distorted it a little because it pretty much had the opposite of its intended affect.

"She's fine. She's beat up, scared stiff, and she wet herself, but it's nothing time and a couple years of therapy won't cure." His blond haired partner breathed a sigh of relief through clenched teeth. It sounded like a hiss.

"Good. Come over so I can start interrogating this guy." The girl looked between the boy beside her and the slightly older blond one. As he brushed off his pants, Michael spared her a glance to make sure she didn't faint.

He lowered his voice, and said, "You might want to cover your ears and close your eyes. This will be over soon." Then he strode over to Zack's side without sparing her a second glance.

_Zack's little sister skipped into his room, just like she did every other school day, only to stifle a scream when she saw her brother's state. His throat was covered in something thick and red, it stained his sheets and paled his skin. She rushed to his side, and cried, "Zack! Zack!"_

_He cracked open one eye and grinned at her. "Happy April Fools Day! Scared ya didn't I?"_

_She blinked dumbly at him for a few seconds, tears already beginning to dry, before she began pounding on his chest, "Idiot! Moron! Nimrod! Nematode! Jerk!"_

_Laughing, the boy speared his sister's face with ketchup. Her whole face flushed red, and she stomped her foot. "That's it! I'm telling mom you're pretending to be dead so you don't have to go to school."_

_He grinned lazily at her in response. "Who's pretending?"_

The man in the tan coat looked surprisingly normal without his broad hat. Zack had been expecting beady eyes and sharp cheeks, like a human vulture, but instead of obviously evil, the man he had pinned to the wall with a kunai pressed down on his neck looked normal. Painfully normal. For all he knew, Zack could have walked past this guy in broad daylight a dozen times already.

His shoulders were broad under the tan coat, but his face held the delicate features of a former underwear model. The haircut he sported could have been found on any number of businessmen, and his amber eyes were warm, like syrup. But none of that mattered. Zack patted down the man's pocket, and found the cigarettes Michael had described. Good.

With his free hand, the blond ninja pulled a photograph out of his pocket, and shoved it into the man's face. The man tried to flinch back but there wasn't any room for him to move. In a dangerously calm voice, Zack said, "Do you recognize this girl?"

The man tried with some difficulty to focus on the photograph in front of his nose. In any other situation, Michael thought his attempts would be comical, but in this situation, it was jarring. Finally, he managed to settle his eyes on the photograph of a young girl in a blue sundress, and his face seemed to rip into a smile.

Amber eyes flashed yellow, like venom in a wound.

"Recognize her? Of course I do. I've killed her three times already, and I was going to kill her again tonight before your ninja friends stopped me. What do you fools think you're playing at any-" Zack pressed the kunai against his windpipe until strangled squelches were the only sounds exiting his mouth.

The alarm bells were going off again. Zack was going to kill the man before him, Michael could see it in his eyes, in the set of his jaw, but something about it wasn't right.

"Zack" Michael heard himself say, "Don't kill him." Blue eyes turned to meet Michael's own and narrowed. "You've never killed before, and if you do, you can never go back." The murderer's face was beginning to achieve new levels of purple so Michael tried to speed it up, "I've killed before. If he needs to die, let me take him out." He hoped this would be enough to convince his partner. The little girl he'd seen die in the alley would never have wanted her brother to become a murderer.

Slowly but surely, the anger began to seep out of Zack's arms. Not all of it, but enough for the murderer's face to begin its journey back to skin color.

Michael stood his ground as Zack gave him a calculating look, then he said, "Your brothers would kill me if I let you take a life."

"Your sister would cry if I let you become a murderer." Zack's eyes went cold.

"My sister is dead. She doesn't cry anymore, or laugh, or smile. She just rots."

Michael gritted his teeth. "Do you think so little of your sister's wishes that you will ignore them the moment she can't voice them anymore?" The kunai in Zack's hand began to shake, and they were about seconds away from coming to blows, but he continued, "She died smiling, Zack. I was there. She didn't want to be avenged, and I'm damn sure she didn't want you slitting someone's throat in her name!"

The kunai whizzed past Michael's cheek, drawing a small amount of blood. Zack still held fast to his prey but his wide eyes were on Michael. "I don't remember what it was like to have siblings, but I get feelings sometimes, you know? And I think if anything ever happened to me, I would just want them to be happy, because that's what it means to love someone. Don't throw that away for revenge, Zack. It's not worth it."

Zack's grip loosened minutely, then he dropped his hands as though exhausted.

The man looked as though he wanted to say something about the current turn of events, and he opened his mouth to do so. Quick as lighting, Michael's hand shot out and bashed the man in his windpipe. After he doubled over, Zack struck the base of his neck with a flat palm. The thud with which he hit the ground was very satisfying for the two of them.

"So, jail?" Zack inquired, his eyes already beginning to soften.

Michael smiled, and said, "Jail."

A frightened whimpered brought the girl's presence back to the forefront of their minds. Zack looked at Michael reprovingly for forgetting the girl, despite the fact that he had forgotten her well before Michael had, and the only reason she was still in the alley was because Zack had been so hell bent on dealing with Mister Trenchcoat right then and there.

Micheal briefly wondered if they should have bothered to ask for the man's name, but one look at the crumpled heap of dirty laundry on the ground told him he wasn't getting anything out of their little murderer anytime soon.

"Kenji, Miura, Lee, come down here please." Three forms flitted down from the rooftops. "Ask the girl for her address and take her home. If she doesn't know it, then take her to the nearest police station, but don't let yourselves be seen. Clear?"

Three foot nin answered in the affirmative before beginning the arduous task of calming down a scared preteen. One of the three was in favor of knocking her out, but the other two were against it. Last Michael saw, they were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors for who had to ask her for her address. A startled sobbing made him chuckle as he walked back to join his partner. He could have sworn he heard one of his men sobbing too, but he just didn't want to know.

Zack was looking up at the moonlit sky as he approached. His hair looked almost white, and his face seemed more mature to Michael than it had only a few hours ago. More mature, but younger too. Or maybe lighter was more accurate.

"I didn't kill him" he said, the words like a sigh.

"I know."

"I might have to kill people in the future, though. I may have killed already."

Michael thought back to the day they had desperately fought their way out of a collapsing Foot Nin base. "Yeah, but he was unarmed, and scum. It's like how some people don't eat junk food because they don't want to clog their arteries. Killing scum, especially unarmed scum, is bad for you. I'm not sure how I know, but I know I do, and I know it's true." He winced a little at the unintentional rhyme, but Zack threw his head back and laughed.

"You know what, Micheal? You're right. In a really weird way, you are." Zack glanced down at the prone body, "But if he escapes from prison all bets are off. Now-" He hoisted the man, all six or so feet of him, over his shoulder with ease, and continued, "Let's drop this trash off at the dump and go home. I'm exhausted."

…..

Kenji did his best to pry the girl from his shoulders, and even signaled to his comrades for help, but they were too busy whistling nonchalantly to notice. Why did this always happen to him? Was it because he always picked scissors? Was that he it, because- he gave the girl another ineffectual yank- because he'd never choose scissors again.

Finally, he brushed his lips against her ear and whispered a few choice words.

She took off like a bullet into the house. Lee looked at him inquiringly and asked him what he said.

Kenji replied, "I said, 'Get off me or I'll murder you'

Miura walked up behind him and whacked the back of his head, while Lee murmured, "Dude, not cool."

The three turned to begin their sprint back to base, when they found themselves in the presence of a very angry looking turtle.

"Hello, boys. Have any of you seen my brother by any chance? He's got red hair and three nasty scars over half of his face. Ring any bells?"

The three of them rapidly shook their heads.

_That's Michael._

_It's totally Michael._

_Definitely Michael._

…_. _

_But Michael's not a turtle_

The three of them tried to ponder this, but the sound of Raph cracking his knuckles menacingly broke into their thoughts.

"Listen fellas, we can do this the hard way, or we can do this the hard way. It's your choice."

_That's not choice at all!_

By the time Kenji, Miura, and Lee finally made it back to base, they had already agreed to never speak of this night again._  
_


End file.
